The Ally in Desperation: Overcoming Fear and Doubt to Fully Surrender | Ep. 25

Welcome to Episode 25 of The Noble Marriage! Travis and Adelle dive into the profound topic of surrender to God, sharing deeply personal stories about overcoming the fears and doubts that prevent true spiritual surrender. Picking up from Episode 24, where Adelle issued an ultimatum to Travis, this episode reveals the pivotal shift that happened when they both realized their desperate need for divine intervention.

Adelle opens with a raw journal entry from November 2016, a period of immense fear and desperation as Travis prepared for rehab. Her prayer, "Lord please work in my marriage, I surrender this over to you God, I need you to show up for us and fight for Travis," captures the essence of this episode. Travis encourages listeners to journal alongside them, recognizing the power of reflecting on difficult seasons.

Releasing Control: When You're "More and More Out of Control" Adelle recounts her lifelong struggle with control, believing she had her life "figured out" until their marriage crisis. She realized she was "more and more out of control," leading to a pivotal moment of surrender. They challenge the common lament, "Why did God do this to me?" clarifying that God does not cause our suffering; our poor choices do. God respects our free will, and our attempts to control things often block His ability to work in our lives.  Adelle describes feeling "depleted" and "done" with trying to control everything, finally reaching a point of desperate surrender, even while doubting if God would show up.  

Unpacking Your View of God and the Trap of Religion Adelle shares her past aversion to religion, viewing God as a judgmental and disappointing figure based on her upbringing. They encourage listeners to reflect on: "Where did you get your perception of who God is to you?" This personal view of God directly impacts one's ability to trust Him and, consequently, to surrender. Adelle contrasts her previous understanding of God (rooted in man-made rules and a sense of dying in religion) with the revelation of Jesus as a personal relationship. She emphasizes that "religion actually killed Jesus," and that surrendering to Jesus means surrendering to God. Travis highlights Jesus' ultimate sacrifice as the foundation of trust, asking, "When's the last time someone came up to you and was willing to lay down their life for you?" Adelle describes the tangible peace and weight lifted immediately after her prayer of surrender, realizing that God never leaves but patiently waits for us to choose Him. They reflect on how much earlier their lives could have changed had they surrendered sooner, preventing "less destruction, less ruined relationships, less need to ask forgiveness."

Overcoming Barriers to Surrender: Fear and Doubt They then delve into the common obstacles to full surrender, urging listeners to consider which resonate most with them:

• Fear of the Unknown: The uncertainty of the future, worry about what will happen, and the desire to control to avoid failure. Adelle connects worry to a "fatherless child" mentality, indicating a lack of trust in God as a loving, providing Father. Strategies: Trust in God's promises (Jeremiah 29:11), seek guidance from supportive, faith-filled people (Episode 23), pray constantly (Ephesians 6:18), and focus on the present moment, trusting God's daily provision (Matthew 6:33).

• Doubting God's Love: Feeling unworthy, undeserving, or questioning God's presence and care. Adelle shares her personal thorn of unworthiness from childhood trauma. Strategies: Read the Bible with an expectation for God to speak (Romans 12:2), recognizing His love is revealed through His Word. Travis shares a recent revelation from Genesis 3, seeing God "coming after" Adam and Eve despite their sin, demonstrating His relentless pursuit of us. Spend time in prayer, talking openly with God, recognizing His desire for intimate conversation (referencing their popular episode on prayer). Surround yourself with supportive people who can speak life and encouragement, reflecting God's love when you're struggling to feel it.

• Fear of Rejection: Worry about being abandoned or unaccepted, especially when making mistakes. Strategies: Remember God never leaves or rejects us (Romans 8). Recognize that intentional hiding (due to shame or sin) and unintentional hiding (due to blind spots and lies) keep us from God. Travis describes the shame that immediately followed Adam's sin in Genesis 3, a "50lb blanket" that causes us to hide. They differentiate between conviction (which points to an action to be corrected) and shame/condemnation (which says "there's something wrong with me"). Take every thought captive (2 Corinthians 10:3-5), challenging lies and making thoughts obedient to Christ by comparing them to God's truth.  Seek forgiveness from others, self, and God, as unforgiveness is an agreement with the enemy. Practice self-empathy, acknowledging and processing difficult emotions rather than resisting them. 

   

   

• Fear of Loss: The pervasive fear of losing loved ones, relationships, or anything valuable.

Continuing Your Journey to Freedom They conclude by emphasizing that this podcast serves as a resource for individuals and couples seeking to rebuild trust, rekindle intimacy, and overcome life's challenges. They encourage listeners to schedule an assessment call at https://www.google.com/search?q=thenoblemariage.com to take the next step toward hope and healing.

The episode ends with a heartfelt gratitude segment, where Travis and Adelle express deep appreciation for their audience's trust and vulnerability. They share a touching testimonial from Amy, a listener who found "peace and and comfort" and "so much hope" for her marriage through their Jesus-centered content after experiencing infidelity. This feedback powerfully reinforces the impact of their ministry and encourages them in their mission.

Journaling Question for Self-Reflection: What specific fears or doubts have you experienced that hinder your full surrender to God?