Dashboard
JOIN GROUP COACHING

Layer 4: Uncovering the Lies Written on Your Heart | Ep. 4

Season #3

 

In this episode, Travis and Adelle dive into the fourth layer of deception from the enemy: the lies written on our hearts. While we’ve previously explored the emotional heart, the flesh, and our thoughts, this layer uncovers the deep-seated, subconscious beliefs—often formed in childhood—that dictate how we view ourselves, our spouses, and God.

The enemy’s ultimate goal is to get us to doubt God’s goodness, causing us to wall off our hearts and live in a state of self-sabotage and "predictable" misery rather than the abundant life we were designed for.

Key Insights from the Episode

  • The Brain’s Processing Trap: At a young age, when we are vulnerable and lack awareness, our brains mix circumstances with predictions and assessments. The enemy uses these moments to whisper lies that we mistake for absolute truth.

  • The Walled-Off Heart: When we believe lies (e.g., "I can't trust anyone" or "I am not enough"), we subconsciously build walls to protect ourselves. These walls don't just keep the "bad" out; they prevent true intimacy with the people we love.

  • The "Thorn" Metaphor: Lies act like thorns lodged deep within the heart. They cause negative emotions (prickliness) that serve as information. Instead of just reacting to the "sting," we must investigate the root lie causing the pain.

  • Postmodern Deception: Travis and Adelle challenge the idea of "my truth." Living by your own "truth" is often a deception that keeps you trapped in a victim mentality. Real freedom only comes from God’s Truth.

  • Individual Healing: You don’t need your spouse to be on the journey to begin uncovering your own lies. You deserve the best version of yourself, regardless of the marriage's outcome.

Adelle’s Story: The Root of Betrayal

Adelle shares a raw "core memory" involving her first kiss at age 14. When her father—the man she trusted most—used a moment of vulnerability to "trap" and punish her, she made a subconscious agreement with the enemy: "People I love will deceive and betray me." This lie lived in her blind spot for 25 years, causing her to be "prickly," questioning, and guarded in her marriage to Travis long before his actual infidelity occurred. Uncovering this allowed her to put her "past in the past" and stop living a predictable life of reaction.

Questions for Self-Reflection

To uncover the lies on your heart, look at the ways you protect yourself and the walls you’ve built. Ask yourself:

  1. What is one subtle lie I suspect is written on my heart about myself or my spouse?

  2. What do I believe about God’s faithfulness in the middle of this pain?

  3. The Discovery Question: "What am I believing about my spouse right now, and what does that lie say it means about me?"

Subscribers Corner: Breaking Generational Sin

We highlight Henry from South Africa, who realized through these videos that the enemy was attacking his children through his own past trauma.

"Praise God for the awareness that allows us to flip the switch on generational sin and create a life-giving legacy for our children."

Resources for Your Journey