Dashboard
JOIN GROUP COACHING

A Raw Look at The Betrayers Journey to Healing | Ep. 6

Season #2

 

Welcome to this episode of The Noble Marriage, where Travis and Adelle discuss how to heal from the profound guilt, shame, and condemnation that often follow betrayal. This episode is a raw look at Travis's journey through his own self-condemnation and how he found freedom and restoration.

 

The 50-Pound Shame Blanket

Travis begins by describing the "50-pound shame blanket" he wore. This heavy blanket represents the relentless, negative thoughts that constantly screamed at him, telling him he was a "loser," a "failure," and "not good enough." This internal monologue was so powerful it felt like his identity—not just that he did something wrong, but that he was wrong at his core.

  • A False Identity: He explains that these lies from the enemy reinforced a false identity, making him feel inherently broken and worthless, which is in direct opposition to God's truth that we are made in His image.

  • The Cycle of Shame: This shame had tangible, destructive consequences in their relationship. Travis would react with defensiveness, passive-aggressiveness, and withdrawal, which would, in turn, create more shame, perpetuating a vicious cycle of a thought-feeling-behavior loop.

 

Finding Freedom Through God's Word

Travis shares the critical steps he took to break free from the prison of shame.

  • Prayer and Conviction: He turned to prayer, which brought God's loving conviction instead of condemnation. Unlike shame, God's conviction is loving, gentle, and always offers a way out and a path to wholeness.

  • The Sword of the Spirit: Travis used God's Word as his "sword of the spirit." He specifically leaned on Romans 8:1-2, which declares that "there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." He also highlights James 4:7, which outlines a three-step process: submit to God, resist the devil, and he will flee.

  • Repentance and Responsibility: He stresses that this process only works when his heart posture is right. He had to genuinely repent and confess his sins and the lies he believed, surrendering his will to God before the Word could be effective in fighting off the shame.

 

Subscriber's Corner: The Burden of Unforgiveness

In the Subscribers' Corner, Travis and Adelle read a powerful comment from "Wizard of Oz," who cheated on his wife 15 years ago and, despite her forgiveness, still struggles to forgive himself.

  • The Prison of Unforgiveness: Travis addresses this struggle directly, sharing his own experience of being unable to forgive himself. He recalls a mentor asking him, "Who gave you that sentence?" This question helped him realize that he was holding himself captive in a prison he had the keys to.

  • Receiving God's Grace: Adelle adds a crucial point from Julie Slattery: we don't have to do the work of forgiving ourselves. We just need to receive the forgiveness that Jesus already paid for on the cross.

Resources and Links: 

Betrayal Group Coaching: https://programs.thenoblemarriage.com/offers/uRBt4CHP/checkout

Walking Through Betrayal Program: https://programs.thenoblemarriage.com/offers/oHCqLSJr/checkout